


Afoot

by misura



Category: The Affair of the Mysterious Letter - Alexis Hall
Genre: Background Relationships, Gen, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:09:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27330247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: It is a truth not universally accepted that every wedding must be preceded by a kidnapping of the prospective groom.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11
Collections: Yuletide Madness 2020





	Afoot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AirgiodSLV](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AirgiodSLV/gifts).



Ms. Haas exhaled some fragrant smoke that writhed in the air before taking the shape of something I shall not attempt to describe. I forced myself not to grow impatient, as I knew full well Ms. Haas could not be rushed even under the most dire of circumstances, which these must surely be.

“While I’ll allow the situation sounds serious, I am not at all certain that interference is called for, or, indeed, desirable. First of all, of course, as you are well aware, while I wouldn’t dream of criticizing your choice in whom you allow to woo you” – she did not say ‘woo’ – “I have no such compunction about doing it while awake, which is why I must tell you I feel the man is a crashing bore.” (She did not say ‘crashing’.)

“Secondly, and more pertinently,” Ms. Haas went on, gesturing expansively, “I would invite you to consider his occupation.”

“In what way?” I asked, sensing that to say I had considered Mr. Donner’s occupation and found it, on the whole, unobjectionable if a trifle morbid would do little to propel the conversation forward to a point where we might spring into action in order to save someone who had grown quite dear to me from forces which would turn out to be far more sinister than even Ms. Haas had initially suspected, though she later claimed otherwise and thus, I must allow for the possibility that even in this moment, she spoke as she did only out of a sense of friendship and a desire to shield me.

Ms. Haas pursed her lips. “He might find being dead a rather edifying experience. Personally, I might even go so far as to say that the only good necromancer is one who has first-hand knowledge of the state in which they meddle. It is a matter of professionalism, and I would be loath to rob any man, however loathsome, of a chance to improve himself.”

“I confess that I had not considered this,” I said, because I had indeed not entertained the view that any person, regardless of their occupation, might find being kidnapped to serve as a virgin sacrifice in some dread ritual of unspeakable horror ‘a rather edifying experience’.

“Well, then, you are very welcome, and I hope this means you might now turn your mind to more interesting subjects,” said Ms. Haas. “For, I confess, I have been most terribly bored for these past five minutes, and if I must suffer much longer, I may well do something I would not at all regret later.”

By now, I flatter myself that I had grown somewhat adept at hearing not only the words Ms. Haas was saying but also what deeper meaning might lie beneath (or, if you wish, beside or above) them.

Thus, it was with a considerably lightened heart that I said, “I fear I cannot.”

Ms. Haas sighed in a way that spoke of untold and interminable suffering and said, “Well. That is certainly regrettable. Are you quite sure, dear captain? If it’s a cup of tea you want” – she did not say ‘cup of tea’ – “there’s plenty who would be happy to oblige you, I’m sure.”

“I fear my mind is quite made up,” I said.

“You know, if you had told me so from the start, we might have been at the Café Mordred’s already.”

“The Café Mordred’s?” It shames me to confess my sense of worry for a man I held dear was slowly but surely being replaced or at least overshadowed by a sense of excitement, for it was clear Ms. Haas had determined to give the matter her all.

Ms. Haas shook her head. “Honestly, dear captain. You had not even come as far as that? Is it not obvious?”

“I must consider myself fortunate to have so perspicacious a friend as you,” I said.

“Flattery at this point is quite unnecessary,” said Ms. Haas, frowning as she looked around the room. “Do we have any marbles, do you think? We might have need of them at some point.”

(As it turned out, we neither had any nor needed any, which must be considered fortunate, though knowing Ms. Haas, I am confident she would have contrived.)


End file.
